#7 - A Bivouac for Reflection
18 Going On 39; Comfort Food Campout; Shopping Cart Wisdom
Hello, my friends,
Well, in case you were in suspense, the Kagan family drove away from the Lake Piru Recreation Area in good spirits and very willing to explore the out-of-doors again soon. Indeed, Michael exclaimed that we should have stayed five nights! There is certainly something to spending several days without a solid roof over one’s head, that goes beyond the bodily accumulation of fragrances and debris.
Speaking of debris (and probably fragrances, too), upon returning home I had to unpack the car by taking multiple trips from the parking lot to our second floor place with a Radio Flyer wagon. During one of those trips, there was an older couple in the elevator with me. “What’s all that?” asked the nosy flannel-shirted sir motioning to my wagon. “Unpacking after a camping trip,” I said. “A shower is next…?” asked the unassuming madam. Yes, yes it was.
18 Going On 39
My friend Simon, age 14 by the time this publishes, and I were hanging around the campsite discussing the social mores around emerging adults leaving home. “It’s so weird,” I told him, “this American obsession with kids leaving their parent’s house when they turn 18. In my culture, kids live with their parents until they get married!” That was very nearly what I did, I told him, and anyway, despite being able to vote and buy cigarettes, 18 is so young in a society when the period of emerging adulthood can stretch to 30 or even 35!
Simon felt that 18 was old enough to leave home, get a job, and get by. Probably he was right and he could have pressed that advantage had he asked me what the differences were between 18 and 38-year-olds. The question occurred to me later and I couldn’t come up with many universal answers. Instead, what came to mind was more personal. Here are a few differences that 20 years made for me:
I now understand the importance of deliberate practice in gaining skills,
I’ve realized the proper balance of “can” and “should”, and, most importantly,
I’ve learned to enjoy smaller pieces of chocolate.
Last week, over an excellent dinner of Spanish cuisine, my friend Lee (not a teenager) made the salient point that men in their 50s tend to be more content with life because they have well-defined preferences as opposed to youngsters who are wildly rooting around for theirs. He had a point, too. When I savor those smaller pieces of chocolate, they’re usually 83% dark.
Comfort Food Campout
Do you eat healthy when you go camping? We ate chili, french toast, hot dogs, pancakes and bacon, chicken, and other such vittles. My liquid diet consisted solely of decaf coffee and beer!
I think the idea of comfort food makes a lot of sense when spending multiple days outdoors; even when you’re not exactly roughing it, most things you do involve various small discomforts; unzipping the sleeping bag, wiggling into pants, sliding into cold shoes outside the tent, and experiencing the frosty air, all just to pee in the middle of the night — That’s worth several cans of Modelo, at least, right? Though now that I think about it, it’s really a circular trade because those cans may have been the root cause of that specific inconvenience.
Should the great outdoors drive us towards healthful choices? I think I’ll have to go on a few more camping trips before having an opinion on something like that. In the meantime, pancakes, bacon, and decaf will remain a morning menu staple. Not beer, though…not at 7am.
Shopping Cart Wisdom
When Michael and I were leaving the supermarket the other day, he insisted on pushing the cart back to the front of the store. Sure, why not? He began to push and I steered from the front. “I want to do it myself!” he insisted. He’s four so he wants to do everything himself. Still, I continued to steer, explaining: “Your job is to push and my job is to help point you in the right direction.” Driving home, I decided that this was pretty good parenting advice, too.
Note: I recently discovered how to enable comments here so now you have the option of bathing me with your insights and opinions. You are all showerheads!
Some great wisdom there from the shopping trolley! Love the decaf coffee and beer, sounds like my camping liquid diet. In all seriousness, the three differences between 18 and 38 ring true. Makes me think of one of my first mentors who told me that the 20s are dreadful because of the floundering and uncertainty, the 30s are even more crap (he didn't elaborate why, but I suspect his divorce played a big role in that), and the 40s is where you finally start to find your feet. There is just a deeper confidence and wisdom that emergeces from 20 years of life experience. Which is why good male mentors are so valuable. I often think back to this advice, and I do appreciate him trying to essentially tell me it will get better!